A few weeks ago we asked you to hit us with your most pressing dating questions. Why does he do that? What was he thinking when he said this? Where did he go? There are more things about men that flabbergast us then we could ever possibly count but a few questions were raised over and over. We took to the streets and brought these to a team of trusted male confidants to get the answers. Read on for the scoop behind 5 of your top dating questions about the opposite sex. Not only do we have the answers you’re looking for but we’ve also added in our advice to help you deal with the next situation a little easier.
1. The Disappearing Act
Your Question: I was casually seeing this guy for a few months. Things were going pretty well and I thought our relationship was starting to become more serious. Then one day he just disappeared into thin air. What was that all about?
Guy’s Answer: To be completely honest, the guy got scared. If you started things out as a casual hook up that’s how he wanted it to stay. Once things started to look like they were getting more serious he got cold feet. While you thought your relationship was progressing he saw it headed down a very dangerous path he wasn’t ready to go down. At the end of the day this guy was a coward and didn’t know how to confront you about his feelings so he took the easy way out and bolted.
Our Advice for Next Time: When you start hooking up with a guy make sure you know his expectations from the start. It will save you a lot of heartache in the long run.
2. Hookup Hangups
Your Question: I really like this guy but I don’t want to move too fast physically. Is it game over if I don’t sleep with him in the first few dates?
Guy’s Answer: No you don’t have to sleep with him to be in the game. BUT if your intention is abstinence make it clear from the beginning. A guy won’t mind holding out if he’s really into you. What will make him run the opposite direction is if you start playing games with him. Don’t be wishy-washy about your intentions. The worst thing you can do is to get 50% into the action and then decide to back out because you “don’t feel like it’s the right thing to do”. Guys hate the tease and will lose their interest if you pull that kind of move.
Our Advice for Next Time: Be honest and upfront about your feelings and you’ll earn the guy’s respect and his patience while you get to know each other better.
3. (Bene) Friends
Your Question: How can I tell if a guy just wants to be friends or if he’s after something more? I met a guy out at the bar and he asked if I wanted to grab coffee later that week. I’m not sure if he was just trying to be nice or if he was asking me on a date.
Guy’s Answer: Are you cute? If you answered anything but a resounding NO then he’s interested in you and not just as a friend. Don’t be fooled because he asked you out for coffee. He’s playing it safe by inviting you to something more casual than dinner but this doesn’t mean his intentions are strictly platonic. If you’re not interested then decline and invite him to join you and your friends out for a hike or other group activity. He should take the hint that you’re not looking for one on one time with him.
Our Advice for Next Time: If you want to expand your circle to include more men, do it through friends of friends or personal introductions not through your local watering hole.
4. I’m Different. Right?
Your Question: How do I know if a guy considers me different from other girls he’s dated? I know he’s dated a lot of girls but I’d like to think he wants something more serious with me.
Guy’s Answer: Guys associate strong connections with memorable experiences. You’ll know you two are becoming something special if you’ve started to share some pretty unique and even adventurous times together. One guy revealed that he knew a girl was something special when she helped him toilet paper his best friend’s house for his birthday. If you want to stand out from the crowd, be open for some fun. When you share a cool experience it brings you closer together.
Advice for Next Time: We’re not saying you should go out and get into trouble with the guy you’re dating but if you want to set yourself apart from other girls take your relationship beyond dinner dates and movie nights. Throw some new adventures into the mix and start to build memories with your guy.
5. Taking a Break/ing Up
Your Question: My boyfriend and I just broke up. When he said it was over between us, did he really mean it? I’m wondering if he really mean that we’re just going on a break.
Guy’s Answer: Sorry sista, it’s over. When he’s made up his mind to call it quits he means it. Leading up to the decision he dealt with his internal dilemmas. By the time the words came out of his mouth he’d figured it out. Though it’s news to you, he’s been wrestling with his choice for a while and is ready to move on.
Our Advice for Next Time: At this point the best thing you can do is to focus on getting over the relationship and getting on with your life. Don’t make it harder by trying to hang onto whatever ties are left loosely hanging between the two of you. Looking for support? Check out this post from a Superbly Single girl who learned great life lessons from a breakup.
What do you think? What’s the best advice you’ve received from/about the opposite sex? Comment below or talk to us on Twitter @SingleDiariesXO.